EP04 redo (DONE)
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[00:00:00] Hey, what's up? Welcome to another episode of The Spiritually Embodied Leader podcast. [00:01:00] It feels very exciting because it's the first one of 2023. And yeah, it's just like, all right, all systems go, right? And I always think it's so interesting to notice like, to me it seems like conflicting energies of the Gregorian calendar, right? And like all of those holidays and all of that.
And especially, um, the new years, how the new years is right in like the beginning half of the winter phase, which is something I see as cyclical living, right? It's attuned to the phases of the moon. It's tuned to the seasons of the earth and it really makes up the energy of what is happening as nature.
And since we are earthlings, we are of nature, we are nature. Um, and so I always thought it was so interesting to see the similarities and the contrast of like cyclical living and being attuned to the cycles of the earth and the moon and the [00:02:00] Gregorian calendar and what's happening, you know, in that particular system. And so it's like, it so telling of the society that we live in now, how the Gregorian calendar is right at the beginning, half of winter season in which winter season is all about resting, right? It's all about recuperation, recovering ourselves, and reflecting on what has been of the past cycle, evaluating it and deciding how we wish to carry on. It's a very preparatory phase in nature. And very needed and very essential, yet when we layer the Gregorian calendar on top of that, the new years is very much like, okay, new me new year, like let's, let's go on with this thing. And it starts now and like go all in right.
It was so interesting to visit my physical therapist, like the first week of January. And I went in and she was just like, "dude, it's banging in here", like it [00:03:00] was loud, the music was blaring. People were all over the gym and she was like, oh yeah, you know, she remembered. It's the new year, of course, this can be a very popular time, like tis the season when people are just like, finally this year is going to be my year and I'm going to do things differently. And you know, it's go, go, go time, right? And it's just like, oh goodness. I just want to say, if you are finding yourself kind of not, you know, jumping to the races. And if you're kind of slowing down and just saying, okay, hold on, everybody, just a minute, right? Like that may be speaking more to you really honoring the natural phase of your body, right? Of your natural cycle and being more attuned to the cyclical energy, which is fine. Versus those of us that may be more on the side of the Gregorian calendar and like the holidays and everything that's happening like I [00:04:00] noticed when right after Christmas people started taking down their Christmas decorations, right? And I walked into target and I was like, oh my God, there's already stuff for Valentine's. And it's like, it wasn't even January yet that was just like, wow, okay, like, you know, it's interesting to notice what rhythm people are on according to either society, according to nature um, and according to, to the landscape of their own selves, right? I mean there are cycles within cycles within cycles and I just think it's so interesting. And so I really wanted to shine some light on this particular framework that I know as the hierarchy of change. Um, it was first
created by Robert Dilts called the logical levels of change or logical levels. Um, and it honestly totally helped me to approach who I am and who I'm becoming in a completely different way. [00:05:00] Um, and I felt like it brought so much clarity as to like why I do the things that I do and how I can go about it differently, that I can have a different experience. Versus like, uh, I, you know, I keep doing this thing and I'm just going to keep doing it the way that I know how to do it cause that's all I know, yet it's no wonder that I keep getting the same results maybe that I'm unsatisfied with. If I wanting to create change in my life, whether it's personally, whether it's financially, whether it's a relationally with like my kids or my partner or my, my parents, um, or whether in business like this can be applied in all areas of life and it just feels very fitting to say it here as I believe this will be published like two weeks into January. And you can really reflect back on like, okay, I had these goals, right? I had like, I want to experience this thing in the new year. And maybe you took some action on it. It's like, okay, January, like, all right, let's, let's do [00:06:00] this thing, right?
And maybe you had already made some moves. And then there sometimes depending on how you may be behaving, there could very likely be a time where you start going, you get the motivation, you're like, all right, let's do the thing, right? And you start and you, you get into the act of it and then a week passes and you start to miss days, or you start to slip up. You feel like you're falling off the horse. And then it's like, oh, and then you lose momentum and then all of a sudden, two weeks into January, you're like, I'm totally back in my old patterns. Like, fuck. I knew this was going to happen. And you know, here we are again, right where we had been before. And it's very, very normal, actually, especially if you're not familiar with the hierarchy of change that I want to share with you today.
Oh, my God, when I first learned this, it opened my eyes. I was like, oh, that's why I keep doing that thing. That's [00:07:00] why I keep falling off the horse and like, no wonder, right? And then it's like, okay, now that I know about this, I can now do things differently in a way that's actually going to help me make forward progress into what it is I'm seeking and desiring, yeah? And I just felt really called to share this because like every year, my dreams get bigger and bigger and bigger. And I think it's a beautiful thing, yet I used to get so deflated and so fearful and I'm just like, I don't want to disappoint myself anymore, like I'm sick and tired of this, or like, even when my heart is just like, no, no, like just keep going. Just try again. Just try again. Just try again. And it's like, it's these frameworks and these different shifts in perspectives, or just knowing more things and growing myself, it's like that desire will then eventually lead me to the very things that I need in order to evolve to the next level. And this Hierarchy of Change was definitely one of [00:08:00] them. So, yeah, if you have been wanting to like, you know, I want to be more fit or I want to lose weight or I want to take care of myself better or, you know, I really want to find a partnership or whatever it is that you want to change in your life. I would love to share this framework with you so that you can better understand what's been happening, why it's been happening and how you can approach it differently to actually get what you want, okay?
Let's get into this now, like I said, I believe Robert Dilts was inspired by a biologist. and so he created this framework, uh, called the logical levels. And then over the years, you know, it's been reiterated and all of this, and there's like slightly different versions of it if you look this up, um, but I'm going to share with you the version of it that has served me the most, and that I resonate with the best. So, um, Kathrin Zenkina of manifestation babe shared the hierarchy of change. Basically it's like a new title, but [00:09:00] essentially the same framework. And so. The hierarchy of change if you were to think of a pyramid. Yeah. So the base of the pyramid, right? Like it's right side up, right? It's pointing upward the basis towards the bottom, um, and this pyramid is section off in six sections, yeah? Now some pyramids we'll have five or some will have six and the very top one is labeled differently. It just depends on who's teaching it, right? Um, but anyway, the six sections of this pyramid is made up of the conscious parts of the mind and the unconscious parts of the mind or subconscious, I will use them interchangeably, subconscious and unconscious.
I know of a lady that says the body is the unconscious. Yeah. And it, I think it's so interesting cause like the mind there is the subconscious and the consciousness of the mind and also the body. And of course it's all interconnected, right? But I feel like the [00:10:00] body is definitely an extension of the subconscious mind. So anyway, now, in relation to this pyramid, let's talk about the very bottom of the pyramid. They're very bottom is the environment slash results, okay? Now this is at the conscious level, the environment slash results, this is the things that you can physically see around you, your bank account, um, whether you're in a relationship or not, how much you weigh, right? Your body's structure, the behaviors between you and your child or whatever the situation is. And I feel like these are the physical manifestations of our reality and so that's the very base level. Now the second level up is called behaviors.
Now the behaviors is the way we act and this can also be in the conscious level. So environment slash results and behaviors, the two bottom levels are conscious. And so [00:11:00] behaviors, this is something that we can physically do we act on, right? And we can change our behaviors consciously, and so let's pick an example of wanting to be more fit. That's one for me specifically, I actually want to reach level three of pole dancing. That's like my big goal, my big domino goal. Um, and so one thing I want to do is become more fit. And so if I want to become more fit, a lot of the times, people that have this desire, well then be like, oh, well I want to be more fit, I want to have a healthier lifestyle, it's time to get a gym membership, right? So they go to the environment of the gym membership. And they buy a membership and then they have access to it. Okay. Now I'm going to (behaviorly) start to go to the gym and do the workouts, right? So consciously, they changed their environment so that they can change the results of having a fit body. And so they start doing the [00:12:00] behaviors of working out.
Now after a while, like, remember, this can only create 5% of our reality and it takes a hell of a lot of energy and attention to create change in this way. It takes so much willpower. And after a while that willpower will start to exhaust itself. And I will get into why that is in a bit later. So, now the next level up, I see, it's kind of like a bridge point. The third level is called capabilities slash skills. Some people have skills in their, right, capabilities slash skills. So this is like, okay, let's say if I wanted to go to the gym and workout, like, do I know what I'm doing at the gym?
I know as much as to like, okay, walk up a flight of stairs, right. I can use the stairs machine or the treadmill. But also, okay, now I want to work with some weights, like, do I know what I'm doing? Do I have the skill to be able to create a [00:13:00] program for myself to, um, I go through a whole workout routine in a way that's, you know, safe, like you warming up, you do the main workout, you cool down, right? Like what capabilities and skills do you have to be able to do this thing, right? That you want to change. And so the thing about this is that this area can start to it's like the bridge between the conscious level and the unconscious level, yeah? Because let's say for example, we wanted to learn how to drive a car, right? And so if you want to learn how to drive a car, you had to get the car, right, environment result, and then you had to get in the car and start driving it, that's the behavior, right? And then it took a whole lot of skills and capability for you to learn how to work the car, how to speed up properly, how to turn the curb properly, right. And how to parallel park, like it took so much time and attention and energy and focus to be able to learn the [00:14:00] skills and capabilities of driving a car. And so eventually the more that you practice and the more that you do it, it becomes unconscious, it becomes automatic, yeah? And so then over the weeks, the months, the years your skills and capabilities of driving a car becomes so good that you can talk on the phone while you're driving, you can eat food while you're driving, sometimes I even do the thing where I'm using my knee to like, hold the steering wheel steady. And it's like where you are then able to multitask to do things unconsciously and so the skills and capabilities, that's why I see that as the bridge point between the conscious and unconscious.
And then we get into, let's see the fourth level up called values slash beliefs. And this is starting to get into the unconscious level. Yeah. This is getting into the subconscious mind. And the values and beliefs is the things that we believe to be [00:15:00] true about the situation that we wish to change, whether it's beliefs about yourself, beliefs about relationships, beliefs about money, beliefs about, you know, being fit and healthy, beliefs about being a conscious parent, a gentle parent, whatever it is. So this also makes up what is important to us, right, the values. And if you were like, Hey, I want to change my relationship with my kid.
And I want to be a more gentle parent then you now have an idea that that value of being a gentle parent and improving your relationship with your kid is important to you, it's of high value, right? And so the values and beliefs, if you were to look at your patterns right now, and you were to look at the way in which you go about life and what you practice and what you don't practice. The way that you are being can start to point out or give you clues, insights as to what it is that you value, yeah? And then [00:16:00] the fifth level into the pyramid is the identity. Yeah, and this one's going to be super highlighted okay. I highlight the level of identity. This is who you are. The "I am" statement. Yeah, this is like your personality. Okay. And this is so important because it is going to ripple into every single layer beneath it. Um, And I'm going to get more into that. Now the very top level, some people will say, it's your mission. Some people say, it's your purpose. But the label that I like to use is Spirit. And this is our limitless nature. This is your sacred essence, your spirit. And the higher purpose of why you are here, why you even exist. So this is kind of like how I view the importance of being connected with my [00:17:00] Higher Self.
Because when I am aware of that higher purpose, that deeper drive, right? That will help me recognize, okay, what is it that my soul wants to experience? Because if my soul wishes to experience then I believe that there's something more to it than just myself. It's kind of like for the higher and greater good, right? It's not just my highest good, but the highest good.
That involves the collective, that involves everyone. And so when I attuned to my spirit and I get clear as to what it is that my soul, wishes to experience through me, I then can get clear as to, okay, for example, this podcast, my soul wished to express myself on this podcast. And so what is the identity that would support being a host of a podcast, right? Like I had to identify as a podcast host. And so the more that I hold, [00:18:00] the belief that I am a podcast host then the values and the beliefs that I have will start to align with that. Now we could also shine some light, like, okay, well, if I have these fears or nervousness or whatever it is, if I'm procrastinating or, you know, whatever thing that is coming up, that is seemingly a challenge.
Then I am like, okay, well, if this is such a struggle or if I'm hesitating or if I'm feeling fearful, then what is it that I believe to be true about podcasting, that I would be so afraid about? Like, what am I afraid of? What do I believe could possibly happen? Maybe the fearful part of myself is valuing more perceived safety.
Quote, unquote safety. ] that's one way that you can take a deeper look as to like, okay, you may be struggling with, um, your relationship with your kids or your partner or something. And so you can start to look at like, okay, what is, what's the struggle? [00:19:00] Like, what do I believe about these relationships that feel like so heavy and such a struggle?
Because if I wish to have an experience, right, let's say of being a podcast host, then that experience of being a podcast host is actually invoking, it's calling forth a version of me to meet that need, to meet that experience. So, not only am I calling to this experience that I wish to have, but also that experience is calling something of me.
And so we got to take a look at like, okay, who do I see myself to be right now? If I want to be a podcast host, how do I not see myself as a podcast host? And do I believe that to be true? And if I wish to be a podcast host and I start identifying as a podcast host, then what values and beliefs am I meant to hold to support that identity and that kind of a life?
Yeah, what skills and capabilities are going to support me to [00:20:00] then be able to eventually unconsciously automatically, naturally, be a podcast host, right? And then that's very easily going to influence the behaviors that I have in terms of the way I do my schedule and like, you know, all the various things that podcasts hosts can do, the behaviors that they have and if I'm a podcast, host is time to like, get the gear, right? It's time to create the recording sessions in my schedule. And so you can really take a look at like, let's go back to the fitness thing.
It's very common. It's an easy one to use. So, you know, it's common to like, okay, I want to do more yoga. So I'm going to get the yoga membership. I'm going to go to the studio or I use Gaia. So I got the Gaia membership and I've got my yoga mat, right, environment results, you're changing your environment and your behavior of getting the things you need to get and showing up to the mat.
Right? And so I start doing that, but if I start to [00:21:00] fall off the horse, then that is an indicator of something deeper, something below the surface that's actually happening because it is our subconscious mind that creates the reality. It is the subconscious mind that is influencing the conscious mind. If you were to reprogram your subconscious mind, it will eventually manifest into your physical reality.
And the thing is a lot of people are doing this backwards. Mostly because of ignorance, mostly because they didn't know about this, where they think it's a trickle up in order to create change, they trickle up the pyramid where they change at a conscious level, they change their environment and their behavior, right?
Although, if you start slipping up, if you start falling off the horse, if you're going back into your old habitual tendencies, then that is that physical manifestation of what your subconscious is actually identified as, right. It's like, your physical behaviors and what you practice is the [00:22:00] physical manifestation of what it is that you believe and how you identify yourself. So, I would like you, instead of seeing this pyramid, as you know, right side up. The importance and how it actually works is that the pyramid should be inverted, it should be upside down, so the point of the pyramid is facing down.
And, you know the level that has the most amount of space and has the deepest impact of change, is at the spirit level, right? It's at that soul calling that you feel, and then it starts to then redirect you. And it may be question like, I feel like this is what happens when spiritual awakening happen, where it's like, okay, all of a sudden I woke up in my life and I'm starting to question things, right? Like, I feel like I'm not who I used to be anymore, I'm changing as a person, your identity is literally [00:23:00] shifting. There's some kind of ego death that's happening, there's a metamorphosis that's going on because the spirit is saying, Hey, this is what I wish to experience. And so then it starts to impact who you believe yourself to be. And eventually that starts to change your values and beliefs, right? Like the spirit could be calling forth a different experience, different from your reality today. And so then it will start to impact you at an identity level, and it'll start to change your values and beliefs. And then eventually you're going to get interest into something else into a different experience and learn the skills and capabilities, which then you will start doing the behaviors a little more easily, a little more easily.
And then your environments and everything changes around you, right? This is an inside out experience. Okay. So it's actually a trickle down effect where it begins at the spirit, and then it goes into identity and values and beliefs. Those three subconscious levels, [00:24:00] creates the deepest most impactful change of your life.
And so now you may have a better understanding of like, oh, okay. No wonder, you know, I'm going back to these old habitual tendencies and patterns. Yet now you can start to think about and pay more attention at a subconscious level and have a deeper look into yourself and who you were being.
Now, keep in mind this hierarchy of change, like this came out of the NLP world, if you're familiar with neuro-linguistic programming and it's all about the language of the subconscious mind. Right? And so it is very revolved around the mind itself. It is concentrated with the mind unconsciously and subconsciously.
Now the thing is with my embodiment background, I do want to share that there is, there is definitely importance and change that does happen at the conscious level [00:25:00] of environment and behaviors. So for example, when I decided to do study abroad. In Melbourne, Australia was there for like five months and I moved out of my mother's house for the first time I was full-time college student, you know, first generation was financial aid, all of this, I was living with my mom. So I moved out of her house for the very first time, moved into a different country, all by myself. I didn't know anyone other than the people of the program that I went with. Like I met them for the first time and I had one roommate and one housemate. Um, but anyway, my entire environment changes and I'm immersed in a completely different country.
And I stay there long enough that I start to have that trickle up effect, right? And then I started doing things differently as well, because over there I didn't have a car and I didn't need a car the way that they had set up their environment, it's unnecessary to have a car. Their public transport is amazing. And I'm over here in San Diego, [00:26:00] California. So if you know much about, you know, is so Cal even like LA.
The transportation and all that at all. Um, so anyway, When I went over there, I had to change my behaviors of learning how to, you know, also learn skills and capabilities of how to navigate their public transport. And so I behave differently. And, um, eventually I started building up an Australian accent too. I don't have it anymore. But I was there long enough, was immersed in a completely different environment, in a different culture, around Australian people that I started to become like them, I started to think differently, I started to dress differently. Um, that was also the year I was like, I don't want to drink anymore. Like I had a big awakening there and Australia that first was catalyzed in Egypt. Um, but once I settled into Australia, like when I came back, I didn't want to [00:27:00] use a microwave anymore, I decided to become vegetarian, like so many different things changed about myself.
Um, but you know, it's like my values and beliefs started to shift so quickly because I was immersed in a completely different environment. And then I came back, I'm like, I identify as vegetarian and this feels good for me. And I feel, a lot more like myself, because my spirit at that time wished to experience that through me at that time. Right? And so I trusted that and yeah, that is an example of how change still can happen from that bottom up effect. And now that I'm back living in San Diego, California, it's like some of those old traits have come back because it's like the culture. Um, I don't have an Australian accent anymore. I still say Melbourne because, you know, that's how they say it and I just, I love to respect or like be connected to their culture and the way that they say it [00:28:00] there.
So from an embodiment perspective, you can create change by immersing yourself, right? If you were to move to a different country, learn a completely different language and, you know, get influenced by that culture like that will happen, change definitely happens. Although, if you are staying relatively in the same place, right? Like you're living for a longer period of time, for more, I don't want to say permanent, but if you know you are stationary, right? Mostly in your hometown and you're going to be here for awhile, but you still want to create change, you still wish to change and evolve, then this is something to consider, yeah, this is something that has helped me tremendously.
And you can even, you know, there's different layers to this because like, let's say I'm a mom, right? Just, I identify as a mom. Now, as a society being a mom can have its own beliefs and values kind of imposed on it, [00:29:00] right from society. Yet, what's helped me as well I'm a conscious mom, I identify as this specific kind of mom, but I do want to also remind you of the power that you have and hold to be able to, even though you identify as a mom, You can still change your beliefs around being a mom. And whether what's considered a good mom or bad mom, or what the hell does that even mean, You can still identify as something, but start to change the values and beliefs around it. And I think that's what what was helpful for me of like, okay, I'm a mom, but also like I'm not my mom, like I'm not the mother that she had identified herself to be and believes a mother should be, I'm my own mom and this is how I want my motherhood to be, these are the values and beliefs that I hold as a mom. Now, of course, I identify as a conscious mom and that's, you know, has its own set of values and beliefs and everything [00:30:00] else, but it's like, even though the identity may not be that much different, you still have power and control into how you wish to perceive it differently, yeah? And the beliefs and the values that you can hold for it because the beliefs are going to shift and change the ways of your capabilities, they're going to shift and change your behavior and your environment.
And yeah, it just learning this really started to click for me when I realized that it's no wonder it takes so much effort and it can be so exhausting, and it almost feels like pulling teeth to create change in my life when I'm only working at the conscious levels, right? And the environment results, soul results and behaviors.
When I'm just working at that level, it's like pulling teeth. Um, but when you start to work at the subconscious level and realize, oh, if I just identify as this person and work on my identity, [00:31:00] it easily then becomes a domino effect into every other layer. And so then the values, the beliefs, the capabilities, the behaviors, all of that comes naturally.
And I don't have to work nearly as hard as I had done before. And so, yeah, this was just a game changer for me. And something that you can start to play with to kind of get a feel of what this can be like for you and how you can apply it today, is living within a question. Okay. So, it's more of an outcome oriented question that comes from the identity that you desire, right? So for example, me becoming a level three pole dancer.
Now, if I'm having a hard time, like, okay, I should really work out today. You know, I'm seeing physical therapist and she's helping me and I have a routine, right? Um, but I just got to go and do the thing, but I'm resisting. [00:32:00] Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, like I don't really feel like it. Well, if I take a moment, I pause and I say, Hmm, the version of me, that is a level three pole dancer. What would she say about that?
And if I were to just really sit with that and listen.
The version of me, that is a level three pole dancer.
I then get this kind of uplifting feeling like all of a sudden my posture like became erect. Yeah, like I could naturally get up right now. And if she were to have this version of me, that is a level three pole dancer had anything to say to me right now, she would bring my mind to the attention of like, Hey, remember how good it feels to like dance around the pole and dance and move your body and express yourself with other people that are there doing the same thing. Like, remember how [00:33:00] good that felt?! Dude, if I were to just go and lift the weights, that's going to help me build the strength and the mobility and the flexibility to do more of that, even better, like it's just going to get better and it's going to feel so good. And if I were to have done the workout today, would I have felt better after?
Right? Like, or if I don't work out, will I feel better after not working out? And it's like, of course I usually feel better after I work out. And the times that I don't it's because I'm way too tired, I've been overworking myself and I haven't been taking care of myself. So then yeah, I take break days, I take days where I'm like, you know what that was that happened to me yesterday actually, or two days ago. I literally went to a gym and I was there and I was like, dude, I'm about to burn myself out if I lift those weights. And it was in a facility that has like a hot tub and a sauna and all this other stuff and I'm like, you know what? I [00:34:00] intentionally, I can still tap into that version of me that is a level three pole dancer and she would have been like, yeah, you know what? Your health and wellbeing is way more important than the muscle mass. It's like no take care of yourself, recover because the rest and rejuvenation, winter phase, is so important to me getting back on my game. And just coming back with so much more vitality. Right. And so you can work with that yourself. You can start to ask yourself like this version of me that does X, Y, and Z, this identity, what would they say? What would they do? How would they feel? Yeah? And I would just, I just live in those questions, I sit, and maybe it doesn't come to me right away and that's okay.
But like just getting in the practice of attuning my attention and my body to that version of myself as if it [00:35:00] already exists, starts to shift the way in which I perceive myself in which I perceive my environment, my situation, my relationships, everything.
And so that's one way that you can start playing with this yourself. And of course, my goodness, most of the change and transformation that I've been through have always involved other people, whether it's community, whether it's a coach, a mentor, um, I mean my physical therapist, even, right? It's so important for me to have someone as a support system to help me when I am creating change in my life.
And so if you really wish to have someone like that in your life, who is, you know, holding that accountability, who is supporting you along the journey, and maybe helping you get clear as to what it is that you wish for in your life.
And also guide you into other, you know, tools and modalities that can really like kick this into gear. Then you're always welcome to reach out to me.
I do have some one-on-one spots available right now. And if you'd [00:36:00] like some support, then let's get on a phone call. You can find the link in my bio and we can talk it out and see where you're at, what you need and, um, how we can support each other, yeah?
All right. So I hope this was helpful. And I would love to hear about your thoughts and your feelings and whatever came up for you. Um, of course you can reach out to me in the DMS. So there's a link to that in the show notes, and yeah, let's connect. So I will catch you on the next episode. All right. Take care. [00:37:00]
